There you have it. I've nearly snapped. I've lost all remaining faith in men, and I'm skeptical of every man that crosses my path. That is to say, I'm not nearly as me as I used to be.

It's not fun.

I wish I could still just be happy liking a guy, but...I may have broken down before, but now I'm actually broken. I wish things could be the way they were. Here's something explanatory:

"My faith in men has withered and died.

"I have not been able to find one nice, interesting, cute, fairly mature guy. NOT ONE. Not even my dad. He's boring, Nick's mean, etc. Forgive my shallowness about the cute part, but it's hard to be attracted to a TROLL.

"*le sigh*

"Okay, so on Friday night, I was having fun at the party. Then Nick shows up. And he won't even say "hi", and...here's an excerpt from my personal diary:

"So, about the Midnight Magic party. It was fine, but the experience was ruinous. Nick hung out with “us”, although I think that may be the first time the word in quotations has ever been used exclusively. He hung out with Maddie and Julie and them. I was just there. He didn’t give me the normal, “Hi Clara!” I was anticipating. I think. I may have been expecting him to ignore me. It’s hard to remember thoughts. He was entirely cold to me the entire time, not giving me so much as a glance. It frustrated me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to flirt with him or throttle him. But it seems to be official. Any feelings he EVER had for me, if he did, are gone. But…yeah. The whole night I was filled with this wave of confusion. I’m still not sure if I loathe him or adore him.
Then we got back to Maddie’s house, and we talked and laughed and watched movies and read the book and had fun. Except…Nathalie and Cathy kept talking right next to me, about Nick. They were saying, “Oh, Nick and I were…”, “I was hanging out with Nick and…”, “Nick’s such a nice person…” and etc. I was sitting there, and whenever the name came up I clutched the book, and my heart rate must have been through the roof, and I hated and I loved and I couldn’t read for a few seconds. It was awful.

"That horrid BEAST. I've been reading too much Harry Potter.

"So, I knew the timid, thread-hanging faith was gone when I was watching a TV show at Lisette's about a teenage girl who was going on about a guy the way I used to go on about Nick (Oh, he's so cute and nice and funny and popular and sweet), and I could feel nothing but contempt for the male idiot who was SO OBVIOUSLY deceiving her.

"I hate men."

That pretty much covers it.